How I feel in Bogotá / Como me siento en Bogotá

Sitting in a cafe in the north of Bogotá, with a magazine in my lap and the sun shining down, it's very easy to forget I'm sitting half way up a mountain, half way across the world from where I was born.

But then I notice the huge umbrellas permanently fixed above the patio because it is going to rain later, no matter how sunny it is now. I notice the cup in front of me lacks a green mermaid and instead has a yellow donkey. I realise that the National Geographic I'm holding is in Spanish, as is the conversation one table over that I've been eavesdropping on.

And I do this:

I tend not to document it when I grin like a fool, so this photo will have to do

Just in case anyone seriously thought I'd be coming back to London in June... Don't hold your breath. I'm having far too much fun over here ;)

Cute Kids / Niños Bonitos

Yesterday was a kind of 'holiday catch up day' at the local primary/secondary school that I have adopted (or have they adopted me?). Instead of taking separate days off school for each of the recent holidays they decided to roll them all into one big celebratory extravaganza.

For Language Day (in the UK known as Shakespeare's Birthday) there were special mentions and prizes (flag medals) for the children who had "excelled in their English or Spanish studies" (guess who I cheered the loudest for). No less than three special anthems were sung: the National Anthem (I think I can sing it better than the UK's one now that I've heard it so often), the local anthem for Bogotá (which I'm ashamed to say I had no idea existed, despite every Colombian city having one. Do we have any Urban Anthems in the UK?), and the school's own hymn ("We are young people who love Colombia, we will construct the future of our homeland walking on the paths of...?" - I couldn't catch the rest).

But then came the real celebration. Every Wednesday afternoon they have a class called "ludicas" in which they study drama, music, and English in groups of interest rather than age or grade. For the past few weeks these groups had been preparing a variety of skits, poems, and musical numbers for the grand recital.

I present to you, in their international debut, the English Theatre Group in "Three Dogs and a Cat"

Totally awesome! (I might be biased)

And the Spanish Theatre Group parodying El Chavo brilliantly:

Espanglish

In Colombia studying English is as compulsory as any other subject at school, and a certain level is required to be able to study at university. Despite this, only 1% of Colombians are at Intermediate level, and less than 0.08% are Advanced (official statistics here). At 35,000 people that's less than the capacity of a football stadium. I really can't blame them though, not when the Inglés Callejero that they see everyday is so... unique: 

"G Spot" - a hairdressers. On the corner of Carrera 13 and Calle 28, if anyone needs directions. 

One of many examples of a misplaced apostrophe. Ju'st becau'se there i's an "s" in a phra'se, doesn't mean it's nece's'sary to u'se an apo'strophe a's well. 

A sports bra called "Ding Dong"... 

... and another called "Clap Clap" - isn't that not the point of a sports bra?

I kind of understand "Sssh" for tiny underwear though.

And a pair called "Bleep!!" - I'm not sure why the exclamation marks are necessary, although again, the name is at least sort of logical. 

An unexpected merger between two communications giants. 

"Mr Handsome" nail clippers. I saw this and immediately thought of you, Mama ;)

On the other hand, the name "Punkyfish" doesn't bring to mind pink and sparkly hair accessories. 

Is anyone still wondering why I, as an English teacher by profession, came to Colombia?

PS - Sí, ya se la reputación de los ingleses y su falta de habilidad para hablar idiomas extranjeras. ¿Y que? </showing off> :D

Onboard Refreshments / Refrescos a Bordo

As someone recently mentioned, things are available for purchase on the buses here in Bogotá (please follow that link, and read part 2 to that story here). Usually the adventure starts with the salesperson apologising for the inconvenience of interrupting our journey (although most interruptions are welcomed as hardly anyone reads on buses here), then handing out samples to each passenger. Then the sales pitch (usually involving tuition fees and/or illness) starts in earnest. Finally the price is stated, along with the offer to take whatever spare change you have if you don't have enough money to pay the full price. If you don't want to buy it, just hand it back with a smile. 

I decided to buy everything that was offered to me on the buses for one week, and this is what I got:

(click on the photo to see a larger version)

1. A squeezy moldable toy head. I'm really not sure what the official name for this kind of toy is, but I'm sure you know what I mean. It was being sold by a man who claimed it was the perfect tool to educate your child and improve their hand mobility/agility and knowledge of shapes, or just as a stress reliever for yourself. What impressed me most about his pitch was that he managed to demonstrate how to play with the toy on a moving bus without falling over. (1,000)
2. El Tiempo. One of the main newspapers here. This is the Saturday edition which is huge! In the UK all the newspapers have been shrunk down to commuter friendly sizes, however this is still a real broadsheet. No wonder no-one reads the newspaper on the bus in Bogotá! There's no room! (Hence the creases.) This was being sold by a woman (an official vendor) who brought her 8 year old daughter on the bus with her. The girl had been reaching for something by standing on a bucket. This unfortunately tipped over and she was left with three partially paralysed fingers on one hand. The girl, as well as handing out the newspapers/collecting the coins showed off the (still red) scar on her wrist and palm. The mother had had to find work to pay for the doctors fees. (1,500)
3. Black bin liners. These were being sold by a really cheerful guy who appeared to be over 50. A father of two, he bought in bulk and sold to us in smaller packs so that we wouldn't have to go to all the trouble of going to the shops ourselves. Although that seems like he's giving away his secret (buy low, sell high), prices in different areas of Bogotá vary so much, it is actually a good deal to take advantage of. (1,000)
4. Two heart shaped lollipops. The first thing I bought before I realised making notes would be helpful when it came to writing this post. (200)
5. Two gummy sweets. These were sold by a very young man, probably late teens, who wanted money for his first child. 
6. Two bracelets (the other was a gift to Virgina, who was accompanying me). Sold by a man whose wife was pregnant and in hospital. (2,000)
7. Two packets of mints (one mint flavoured, the other strawberry-mint). The woman selling these hopped on and off the bus with a limp, saying that due to an incorrectly applied injection she had received in her leg, it permanently damaged her tendons. (700 for one pack, 1,000 for two)
8. Wink (a caramel/biscuit chocolate bar). Being sold on the Trece on a hot afternoon, while we were stuck in heavy traffic, these were extremely popular. The woman selling these only spent a couple of minutes on our bus before hopping on to the next one. Most sales-people don't pay for their tickets, instead giving a free sweet/bracelet/etc to the driver in exchange for the short ride. 

Not pictured:

• two rappers (who usually rap about the people on the bus or things we pass in the street - they really are quite good!)
• one guitar/vocal duo (one day I will have the courage to at least photo, if not record, a busker) and 
• one set of CDs designed to help your child master English (I had promised to buy everything offered for a week, but I just couldn't bring myself to go that far)
• Various pens, puzzle books, and colouring books. Sadly I wasn't offered any during the week, although I had seen them for sale before. 

Now, who wants to help me eat all of this sugar? I'm not sure I can (should) manage all by myself...

Sir Paul

I went to university in Liverpool with two main aims: get my degree in Classical Civilisations, and avoid The Beatles as much as possible. Why? I don't remember in the slightest, but it probably had to do with an extremely misplaced (and rather delayed) sense of teenage rebellion and wanting to be different.

Ten years later then, why was I jumping up and down, screaming like... well, like a Beatles fan, at Paul McCartney's first ever Colombian concert?

Not stars at night, but recording equipment: the first time video cameras/phones were allowed at one of his concerts.

Although I did successfully elude the majority of the Beatles' songs at uni, when I went back to Liverpool for the first time since graduating, I went as part of a tour with some students and friends. Chris (the man) and William (the bus) had arranged a weekend tour of Liverpool and Manchester, which left London via Abbey Road, arrived in Liverpool passing down Penny Lane, gave us time to visit the Beatles Story, and even let us sing in the Cavern Club (I declined, if you've ever heard me singing then you'll be wiping your brow in relief now). Resistance was futile, and I returned to London a fan.

Yes, we did non-Beatles things as well

Several Beatles tribute bands later, when I found out half the remaining members of the original and best were going to perform in Bogotá I had to get a ticket, and not just to see a Beatle, but to witness 'history.' El Campín (the main football stadium in Bogotá) had prohibited concerts taking place there to protect the (only) pitch (big enough to have international matches in Bogotá). Even Shakira had been denied permission to play there, despite going in person to the Mayor's office. Sir Paul, however, turned out to be more popular than Shakira (Jesus is still under debate) and was allowed the stadium due to popular demand. Chaos ensued.

Although more organised than the London Olympics ticket office, the website crashed due to the number of fans, there were 8 hour queues stretching round entire shopping centres, and the tickets sold in record time.

The successful 'few' who got tickets

Playing up to the hype like the showman (showoff?) he is, he advertised it as 'the concert of all time" and thankfully lived up to his PR.

I had to queue twice and go through a police check just to get this far... Another police check awaited me on the other side of this queue too.

Although it was certainly impressive to see him perform live (and the fireworks were unexpected and impressive during Live and Let Die) , I have to admit that my favourite moments  were listening to the 32,000 strong crowd of Colombians singing along:

Impressive, and more so when you remember that this is their second language!

Thank you Paul, for coming to Colombia. It was nice to 'meet' you at last.

I leave you with a song that'll get stuck in your head for a few days at least, to get you through your Monday morning blues:

PS: Chris and William are still touring the country, are ridiculously good company, and I cannot recommend them enough whether you are British or not. One of the first things on my to do list when I get back to the UK is to visit Stonehenge with them. Show me your photos if you go ;)

D.A.S.

If you search the internet for information about renewing your tourist visa in Colombia, you get a lot of old/conflicting information and horror stories. This is not useful when you've fallen in love with Colombia so much you aren't even thinking 'I don't want to go home yet' - instead you're thinking 'I don't want to leave home yet' and you don't know how to go about avoiding deportation. Therefore, I thought it might be useful to describe my experiences here.

When you arrive at the airport (if you're from a qualifying country) you'll be asked a few questions and given a stamp in your passport. This stamp gives you permission to stay as a tourist and can vary from 30 to 90 days. Luckily I got the full 90 from a very nice lady. I have no idea if she spoke English or not though.

87 days later I realise that time does indeed fly when you're having fun, and that due to the leap year it's actually been 88 days, and as I arrived in Bogotá at 11:45pm did those 15 minutes until midnight count as a full day? Might it have been 89 days already? Oh dear...

The official website for DAS (the Administrative Department of Security, ie: the Colombian Home Office) has, as far as I could make out, absolutely nothing relevant to foreigners trying to renew their visas whatsoever (if your Spanish is better than mine, please feel free to disagree). I called the information help line, and after explaining my situation 5 times to 5 different people, I was given a lot of very helpful (and almost entirely accurate) information:

• Do not go to the main DAS offices (which is where all other Colombians will point you).
• Go to Calle 100 with 11b, number 27 - the 'Platinum Building' (el Edificio Platino), Gound floor (primer piso).
• The offices are open Monday - Friday, 8am - 4pm.
• You will need to pay first at Banco de Occidente - there is a branch round the corner.
• The bank is open from 9am.
• You will need to pay 75050 pesos into account number 26305464-5, using bank code 103.
• Take the receipt, two photocopies of the main page of your passport, one photocopy of the original stamp you got at the airport, two 3x4cm passport photos with a blue background, and your passport.
• They will give you a form to fill out in the office.

I have no idea if any of the people I spoke to on the phone speak English.

On Thursday I woke up bright and early, put on my prettiest and most professional teaching clothes (looking good is a definite advantage in Colombia, if you look like a lazy student - my usual choice of attire - you will usually get treated like one) and set off. If you live close to the 26th, then you can get a bus towards Cedritos which will leave you a couple of blocks away from DAS on the 100 with 15. I recommend buying some of the freshly squeezed orange juice from one of the vendors on the way, as there are no refreshments offered inside DAS, and you might be in for a long wait. This will also give you a chance to ask for directions if you need them, as giving people money and looking good pretty much guarantees you good service :D

The bank (it must be a Banco de Occidente for some reason) is indeed very close to DAS, a mere two blocks further up the road (100 with 9 I think) and is on the same side of the road as DAS. When I arrived there was almost no-one in there, so I was able to go up to the counters several times to ask for help filling in the payment slip. There is a huge poster on the wall where they keep the different forms showing how to fill it in, but, being the paranoid and perfectionist Brit that I am, I double checked all of the information on the poster with the bank staff. Gold stars to each of them as they all answered me with patience and without rolling their eyes. Just so you know, the poster was 100% correct, and yes, you do have to write your passport number twice. As I was almost alone in the bank filling out the form and paying took all of ten minutes (including pestering the staff - in Spanish by the way). I paid in cash, and have no idea if paying by card is possible.

So, back down the 100 to the Edificio Platino, where a crowd is milling around outside. DAS have thoughtfully placed chairs and benches outside, but nowhere near enough for the number of people waiting. This is not a sight that fills one with hope. Thankfully, if you speak to the (flirty) doorman, he'll let you know that if you're renewing your visa you just go straight in, stand on the blue line, and go to whichever of the two desks is free first (even though one is labelled for disabled/pregnant/etc people), but if you've brought any friends or family with you to make the wait a little more interesting, they will have to wait outside (I'm so sorry Virginia - I didn't know!).

Inside the offices it looks almost exactly like a bank (minus the mortgage advertising). Following instructions I go to wait and a mere two minutes later I get asked for my passport. The man behind the counter checks whether it's your first time renewing or not, how long you've already been here, and why you want to stay. Flirting is recommended at this point, as is sucking up in general - I said I'm here because I'm in love with Colombia and I don't want to leave yet. The reply, with a wink, was 'Well, we'll have to give you the full 90 days so you can fall in love in Colombia then, won't we?' I suspect most women get that answer :D You'll receive a slip of paper with a list of required documents (only one passport photo, and only one photocopy of the main page of your passport, otherwise everything was the same as the lady on the phone told me) and a form to fill out.

The form given upon entering DAS

The form is simple (only one side of one page, thank God) and written in Spanish and English. I decided that for the purposes of immigration I am 'slim' (Why is this relevant? And why are the only other options 'medium' or 'strong?') and as I'm a geek I knew my blood type. I guessed slightly on my height (cm only, no feet and inches in Colombia) and nearly wrote down that my 'distinguishing feature' was that I'm 'really tall' until I came to my senses (forms make me nervous). You'll need to know your own phone number (mobiles are ok) and home/hostel/etc address, and those of a contact in Colombia. I called outside to my waiting friend and asked for her details. Again, if you can find a member of staff not currently talking to someone, they are very friendly and helpful, just like in the bank.

Having returned the form and all of the other documents to the same desk I got the form from, I was asked to wait (the ratio of chairs to people waiting on the inside of DAS is much better, plenty of free seats). About ten minutes later I was called to a back office to have a digital photo taken, and digital fingerprints. The scanner is so cool! Apparently it's just the same as a home scanner but it only uses green light (yes, I'm enough of a nerd/suck up that I asked). They take 'prints' of each of your hands, and then again of each finger individually, then send you outside to wait.

After about half an hour of perusing a copy of El Tiempo that someone had thoughtfully left behind, I was called up to one of the counters on the other side of the room. A lady with my passport and a big smile handed it back to me, explained that I'd got 90 days (YES!!!!) but that those were my last 90 days in Colombia. I wouldn't be able to renew this visa again (boo...). At this point I finally asked a really useful question: '¿Hay alguien aquí que hable Inglés?' and whether or not that question is grammatically correct, the answer was yes, everyone in the office speaks English.

The entire process, from entering the bank to getting my stamped passport back, took just over an hour. Muchisimas gracias a Virginia por haber elegido el bus correcto, por haber prestado tu boligrafo, y por haber esperado en la calle mientras yo arreglaba mi nueva visa.

I hope this information helps anyone in the same situation as me, although be aware that I've heard different things about different cities. In case it's relevant, I went on a Thursday morning, at about 10 o'clock.

My flag and my city, for another 90 days <3

ETA - if you've already had your full 180 days of tourist visas in Colombia this year, or you'd like to skip straight to the one year work visa without tying yourself to a particular job/company, have a look at these four posts:

How to get an independent work visa in Colombia:

1. Get a RUT
2. Register at the CC
3. Apply for your visa
4. Register with DAS

The Environment / El Medio Ambiente

As mentioned in my previous post, Colombia has a lot of impressive stuff. One of the most spectacular things here is its natural beauty - and this from someone who's only been to two sites outside Bogotá! I can't wait to explore the rest of this country.

Sadly, part of my desire to 'escape' Bogotá is to literally escape the pollution here in the capital. All kinds of vehicles, public and private, zoom by spewing out clouds of black smoke as they go. The buses and lories are the worst offenders:

(I wish I had been brave enough to take a photo like this myself, but instead I thank this blog)

In a city where more people are killed or injured every year in traffic accidents than in street crimes (I have no links in English to back that up, sorry) I understand that there are more urgent priorities. Similarly, as I have felt the frustration of the trancones myself I know that on a day to day basis reducing the number of vehicles on the road feels more important than what's coming out the back of said vehicles (and there are indeed various schemes to reduce traffic: an annual car free day (world's largest!) and pico y placa, for example).

It just seems so strange to compare the UK and Colombia in this way. In London everything is grey all the time (unless you have the fortune to be in one of the many wonderful parks on a sunny day). We don't really have much 'environment' (of the world-famous variety) around to protect. In Bogotá, however, there are so many grassy embankments in the middle of roads and so many flowering bushes by the sides of the pavements that even when it's pouring with rain you are surrounded by vibrant hues.  Yet it is in London that you find mandatory recycling schemes in houses (with up to 5 separate categories no less!), in London you find organic food, in London if you drive an eco-friendly vehicle you pay less tax, in London if a car produces too much pollution then it fails its MOT and can't be used until it's fixed, in London you often have to pay to receive a plastic carrier bag.... We have nothing compared to Colombia yet we protect it so fiercely, or is it better to say 'publicly'?

The Andes, covered with jungle and sunshine. Not a view I think we have in the UK.

For there is a lot of protection going on here, just not on quite as obvious (bureaucratic?) a scale:
The metal bins in the Simon Bolivar are compartmentalised and colour coded, and can even be swung down by children so that they can put their own waste in the correct place, and they look a lot older than the similar (plastic! = fail) bins in Oxford Street.
In houses and flats all over Bogotá the desire to save electricity and water borders on the obsessive (I do, however, suspect it is more about the money than the environment, but as noone admits that I must give them points for being green). In fact last year's "Earth Hour" was one of the more enthusiastic.
In Colombia, thanks to the 'eternal spring' there are always fresh fruit and vegetables available in season, so not as much of it has to be grown in greenhouses/imported from the other side of the world (added bonus: it tastes so much better too!), and almost every street has a greengrocers where the selection changes pretty much daily.
The Ciclovía was not only invented in Bogotá, but is one of the worlds largest. It's also a lot of fun :D
In primary schools children are not just able to draw you a reasonable map of Colombia, but tell you which parts are hot or cold and why, why they don't really have four seasons, what they have instead and how it works, and why Europe does have seasons. It may be that I just don't remember that part of my childhood (without cheating, do you know what the 'Coriolis effect' is and how it affects the weather here?), but the majority of adults here can also explain all of the above with labelled diagrams, so even if I was taught it, the Colombians were obviously taught 'better.'
In short, it looks like everyone here is aware of the problems the environment faces, and everyone wants to do what they can.

So, I will leave you with a picture of the "lungs of the Earth," something that everyone (except the darn bus drivers and plastic-bag-givers!) is trying to protect:

Confession: not the real Amazon. 

This photo was actually taken in the Botanical Gardens in Bogotá :D