Espanglish

In Colombia studying English is as compulsory as any other subject at school, and a certain level is required to be able to study at university. Despite this, only 1% of Colombians are at Intermediate level, and less than 0.08% are Advanced (official statistics here). At 35,000 people that's less than the capacity of a football stadium. I really can't blame them though, not when the Inglés Callejero that they see everyday is so... unique: 

"G Spot" - a hairdressers. On the corner of Carrera 13 and Calle 28, if anyone needs directions. 

One of many examples of a misplaced apostrophe. Ju'st becau'se there i's an "s" in a phra'se, doesn't mean it's nece's'sary to u'se an apo'strophe a's well. 

A sports bra called "Ding Dong"... 

... and another called "Clap Clap" - isn't that not the point of a sports bra?

I kind of understand "Sssh" for tiny underwear though.

And a pair called "Bleep!!" - I'm not sure why the exclamation marks are necessary, although again, the name is at least sort of logical. 

An unexpected merger between two communications giants. 

"Mr Handsome" nail clippers. I saw this and immediately thought of you, Mama ;)

On the other hand, the name "Punkyfish" doesn't bring to mind pink and sparkly hair accessories. 

Is anyone still wondering why I, as an English teacher by profession, came to Colombia?

PS - Sí, ya se la reputación de los ingleses y su falta de habilidad para hablar idiomas extranjeras. ¿Y que? </showing off> :D